To my first born,

You blow me away everyday. You are full of wonder and excitement. Happiness bursts from every smile, and your eyes are filled with so much unconditional love.

I am sorry I am hard on you. I’m sorry I always feel like I’m not good enough. I’m sorry I yell. Motherhood caught me by surprise, and although the greatest lessons I’ve learned in life have been from you, I am still learning. You have taught me patience, to take a deep breath, and to laugh my head off no matter what happens. Thank you for paving the way for your sister. I appreciate you wearing down my rougher edges. Thank you for being the most explosively joyful little human I have ever met. I love looking at you and seeing your daddies eyes looking back at me. You have so many of the qualities I love most in him.

Today we didn’t have a very good day. You lost your temper, I lost mine too. You pushed me away, and told me you didn’t love me. It broke my heart.

Tonight I tucked you into bed and pushed your blonde hair out of the way to kiss your forehead. It was soft, and it reminded me just how sweet and little you are. I promise to stop wishing the days away, to cherish the moments we have. Even if it’s hard. Even if you are making me crazy. The love I have for you is immeasurable, and unconditional. I promise myself I can take whatever crazy days are coming for us, and I welcome them with open arms.

xoxo

Mommy

Author: ashleighafterhours

Brand new blogger. Loving wife. Mommy x 2. Canadian.

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